IU // The Voice of an Angel

Photo credits:url // Loen Entertainment and whoever took this

When IU announced that she was coming to Singapore to perform for her 10th year anniversary concert, you have no idea how excited I was. I've loved IU and her music since I was 16 years old (which is 2012). I listened to her songs while I studied for my 'O' levels. It definitely was on my bucket list to watch her perform live at least once in my life. But IU was someone who only ever performed in Korea. So when this news finally came, I was beyond happy. I was ecstatic. I just had to get the VIP tickets. 

Now, I must say, I am no morning person. But because online sale for the tickets start at 10am, I got up at 9am to start queuing for it on the website. Was it worth the lack of sleep? Hell yes. I managed to snag a seat real up close to my favorite singer. 

The experience? Unlike. Any. Other. It's one thing to listen to her music, it's one thing to see her live performances on YouTube. But, it's a blessing to actually see and hear her sing and perform live right in front of you. She has the voice of an angel. Every song had my ears and my heart melting, I am not kidding. I almost cried because this was everything I had waited close to 7 years for. The highlight? When she sang 'Good Day' live, and actually performed all of the high notes. My heart exploded. 'Good Day' was known as a song that was damaging to her vocal cords because of how unbelievably hard it is to hit the high notes. But she did it anyway, for us fans. I went crazy. I savoured every moment of the concert. IU is also very famous for her en-encore. Every Korean singer or group tends to have two songs planned for their encore performance. But for IU, after her encore performance, she does an unplanned en-encore where she takes song requests from the fans. My friends all didn't believe me that she'd do it in Singapore, but she did it. Even though it was just two extra songs due to the time constraint, she still did it. But what made it extra special was how she told all the security guards that filming and photography should be allowed for her en-encore because it isn't part of the show. She truly is an angel. The applause she got for that was incredible. 

Also, I loved how she tried her best to converse in English with us, despite her having a translator that would help translate whatever she was saying. All in all, it was the best concert I had ever been to. I'm just really grateful and happy to have been able to strike this off my bucket list. Thank you, IU. 

The Saving Grace of Instagram

Photography is truly a magical medium, when paired with Instagram. A decade ago, none of us would have imagined that we would be meeting random strangers from the internet to take photos together / of them. While many may focus on the negative aspects of social media, such as how it has led to addiction. Some argue that we have lost the ability to interact with others due to the rise of social media usage. It might hold some truth, but it has also created a new form of interaction. 

Through Instagram, photography hobbyists such as myself have a platform where we are able to find like-minded individuals. Whereas, it was a lot harder before, who would have known where to find other photography hobbyists apart from camera shops? It has also become a lot easier for us to look for models to shoot with when we wish to do portraits. We are no longer limited to just using our friends. With a simple message, we can connect with strangers whom we find are apt for our styles of photography, or have the vibe we are looking for.

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Personally, when I started out, I had a wish of making more friends through this platform, just as many others before me had. Growing up, I was a really introverted kid. As a result, I didn't manage to make many friends. It was a regret for me, and I envied others who had made many friends. The realisation that I wouldn't have much opportunities in life to make more friends came after I graduated from poly.

But over the past two years, I stepped out of my comfort zone time and again. I attended insta-meets, and met a number of like-minded individuals. It was truly liberating to be shooting with other people. Photography didn't feel as alone anymore. I wanted to do portraits, but I wasn't brave enough to meet strangers one to one, so I put that on hold. But in the past few months, I decided to take that one big leap forward. I started asking models for shoots. Of course, it was a struggle at first, being the introvert I am. But slowly, one after another, I built up my confidence to shoot and direct. In the course of shooting, I made many friends along the way. 

Twelve year old me would never believe that I'm meeting strangers from the internet to take their photos. He would never believe that I'd made friends with these strangers. And to me, that is the saving grace of Instagram. That is the beauty of it.

Amidst all the negativity surrounding social media, it's a tiny light that shows that when used right, it can be positively life changing. Just like how it has changed my life, it has changed the lives of many others like myself.

From strangers to friends.

From models and photographers to friends.

From fellow photographers to friends.

There is no need for me to name all of you, but all of you know who you are. 

My 22nd // 3 months late

My favorite army friends (missing Jordan who was overseas)
From left to right: Dominic Cancerous Tan, Harvest Dailo, Yi Hong Gan

Alright, so I realised that I was so busy last year with shoots and work that I didn't have the time to sit down and write about how my 22nd birthday went down. I am gonna try and keep this one short.

For most people, their 21st would be the most memorable birthday. Well not for me though, my 21st was just like any other days. Honestly, my birthday feels like any other day to me. I don't really find anything special with it. Every year, I just sit down with my family to blow out a cake. I don't do parties.

But my 22nd was celebrated a little differently though. First off, I was surprised at work two days in advance by my bosses (Xinde and Brandon), and two regulars (Tabby and Xinxuan). Brandon told me that it was Xinxuan's birthday and passed me a cake and tasked me with singing the birthday song when she came back from the toilet. But the plot twist was real when they directed the birthday song at me instead. I'm not going to lie, but that I was genuinely touched and surprised. Nobody's ever given me a surprise birthday ever, so this was a first for me.

That weekend, my workplace was having a Halloween themed event as well (3 days after my birthday), but I thought why not celebrate my birthday alongside Halloween as well. Just to give my life a little change, I invited some close friends to come down and have some fun. And since they were having a dress up competition, I decided to go down as the simplest thing - Joker. My sis did my makeup. Honestly, it was zero effort put in. I merely did it because my bosses kept telling me to dress up. But because the competition was based on how loud the cheers you received were, and since I brought the largest group... I ended up winning the $150 vouchers, much to the discontent of many.

p.s. if you were wondering how I spent the $150 vouchers, I brought my family and Jodie down for a meal sometime last December. 

p.s.s. here's a side story. Randell left early and dropped me a text after saying he left a gift on the chair. He didn't specify which chair, so I assumed it was the chair at Chug Chug. I spent the next 30 minutes frantically trying to find where the gift could possibly be, where exactly did he hid it. It was only after, which he revealed that it was on the sofa in my house. Seriously though. 

Forced Yi Hong to do makeup with me

Best Friend - Randell 

My photography mentor - Ivan 

Boss Brandon

Boss Xinde

Boss Huanhui

Austin

Sorry to those I didn't take photos with, but it's okay. What matters is we had fun. 

Thank you all for an amazing 22nd. You will never see me have any other parties ever again hahaha. 

Disposable // A Carefree 39 shots

First shot in the roll - picking Jodie up from work hahahaha

As many of you might not know, I have this tendency to go wild shooting portraits for 2-3 months before burnout hits me and I suddenly have zero motivation to shoot and whatnot. But honestly, I don't know if it's truly burnout or it's because shooting portraits have started to feel more like work than for fun. The choosing of outfits, locations, and planning of themes, concepts, and mood boards have sort of killed it for me. Instead of having fun, I'm getting stressed out instead.

So for Christmas 2018, my workplace had this gift exchange called 'White Elephant'. Don't ask me why the name sounds racist, I wasn't the one who invented it alright. But basically, we just put all the presents bought on the table anonymously and go in a randomised order to pick these presents. My friend, Sean, told me to pick his. He said out of everyone, I would appreciate his present the most. And so I did. Boy, did I have no regrets. It was a Fujifilm disposable camera. 

To many, a disposable camera might not seem much. One might view it as a bad camera, since you have absolutely zero control over the settings. But I think, that's exactly what I needed. It was a gift that allowed me to finally have fun again with photography just like when I first started. There was no need to stress over settings, or stress over any concepts. It allowed me to snap whatever I wished to in the moment. Whatever I deemed beautiful or aesthetic. So I started snapping away at my friends, nothing planned. Just very spontaneous moments of "hey, can I take a photo of you real quick?" and me laughing afterwards. There is no way of checking these photos, and I think that's what makes it less stressful and more fun for me. It's a carefree 39 shots worth of snapping.

Partner in crime at Chug

Thank you for all the snacks Ewan

Guys look, it's my very hardworking boss, Xinde, packing pastas

Dude's been cooking us pastas and eggs every time I work, thanks~

Nehe posing while on the phone

Austin washing them dishes

I have no idea what we were thinking but here, have a fork

Using the disposable camera really got me thinking though, when exactly did photography stop being "fun" for me? Was it the moment I got too geeky and serious about it and bought a camera? Or was it when I started taking portraits? Because I remember how when all I had was my iPhone 5s, and I was just walking around snapping the most random of things because they simply looked aesthetic to me. I guess I still do, when I see amazing light. I just sort of take out my iPhone 7 and take a few shots. 

Photography for me was about spontaneous moments, about beautiful fleeting moments, about people that mattered to me. And I guess I forgot that as I was chasing after a more serious form of photography that wasn't "me". 

But the true "revelation" moment was probably when I was sending Jodie home the other day, and we were just standing at the corridor, admiring the view. The golden hour was cast onto these HDB buildings, and it truly was a magnificent view. I couldn't help but take out my phone to capture the view in front of me, and as I was snapping away, it made me realise the fun I was having. And it was fun I haven't had in years, to be perfectly honest. 

Sunlight was beautiful

Turning head to the side for more feels

Feels is real in this shot 

View of Braddell at the 30th floor

View of Braddell, this time with a girl in it

I had been so busy chasing after recognition, chasing after the perfect street photos, chasing after unique portraits, chasing after my own "style", that I had forgotten what it was like to simply enjoy the process of taking photos. I had forgotten how all of these even started. As have many others, in this Instagram dominant world. 

But it's not like I would stop taking portraits entirely after discovering this, no. I will still take portraits from time to time, it's not that I don't enjoy it at all. But I'd probably stick to more relaxed kind of shoots, or shoot when I have a really nice idea I wish to execute. It's more of, I am going to indulge in my random snapping again like I did in 2014. Maybe get myself more disposable cameras to shoot with. Because these are what I truly found / find fun in photography. 

From customer to friend - ms tummy

Thankful for all the food you have bought us, Tabs

This is what I mean by I chase beautiful light

Supporting Jodie's booth at EOY where I bought lots of keychains

I absolutely adore this outfit and would shoot it some day

A hard day at work demands a hug from the person that gives me the most comfort

"I need more radish damn it"

Out for a shoot at East Coast with Eva

Drinking ice milo at Burger King 

This is really unglam but it was captured by Jodie... 

My... Valentine's? I am kidding, Chug was selling flowers and Jodie likes flowers

So I bought her a bouquet

Disappointing fluffy pancakes sadly

Little girl wanted to ride on the kiddy ride so badly

Did not think this shot through but oh wells 

Max here stealing the other Sean's Boost juice

Best cafe we've been to so far

Good coffee, good dessert, good pork don. 5/7

Impromptu photoshoot that followed after, because I wanted to finish my disposable

Of spiral staircases and a beautiful dress

"This dress has pockets"

Here is me, chasing beautiful light once again

Really love this shot though?!?!

I. Love. Good. Light.

Are we advertising for cafes now? 

Of Cinematic Photos and Impromptu Photoshoots

At some point along my portraits journey, I felt like these weren't the kind of photos I wanted to take. I started wondering, just what exactly am I taking? Like sure, they are definitely "nice" photos, but as Marie Kondo would say, they do not spark joy for me. As a result, burn out comes fairly quickly. Because at some point, it started to feel like work to me. But this would be elaborated in my other post, "Disposable".

Anyway, apart from fleeting moments, I thoroughly enjoy cinematic looking photos. Photos where they look like they were screenshots from a short film. Photos that can tell you a story. I planned out a cinematic shoot once, titled after Gnash's famous song, "i hate u, i love u". The story was basically how this girl is conflicted between her feelings of hate and love for the guy who has cheated on her. Sort of. It was a very amateurish attempt, but it remains to be my personal favourite shoot. 

So while it took some time for me to realise this, I know which direction I'm meant to head towards. But of course, I am no story writer. I can't churn out stories at the snap of my fingers. So there is absolutely no way that I'll be able to come up with tons of elaborate series like "i hate u, i love u" unless I'm very inspired by certain songs.

I knew the direction I had to take, but I was still lost. Then on a fateful day while I was hanging out with my matcha buddy, Naomi, we happened to talk about this topic. And she suggested that I could just recreate impactful or intimate moments in my life into photos. This way, it keeps the daily life aspect that I love, while providing a story for my cinematic desires. Truly, a lightbulb moment. And for that I say, thank you Naomi. 

(Of course, there will be plenty of shots taken simply for the aesthetic. My photos won't always have a story behind it, but I'll try to incorporate as much story as I can.)

I used to sit at benches below my house to cry before going home

What I used to do while waiting for my ex in school

Staring at my phone, waiting for your text

Model for the cover photo and top two: Jodie Seraphina
Model for the last photo: Naomi Huth

Context for photos:

I was in Ngee Ann Poly with Jodie to look at my sister's exhibition, when I came across a pretty garden with a swing. We were on our way to dinner, but I dragged Jodie with me to that garden just so I could experiment with cinematic photography. 

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We were at Hvala just drinking matcha lattes, catching up on life, and talking about my direction for photography. Naomi told me to give it a try inside Hvala, since it looked so aesthetic. So I said, why not, I have a model right in front of me right. And without hesitation, we just took some photos.