First shot in the roll - picking Jodie up from work hahahaha |
As many of you might not know, I have this tendency to go wild shooting portraits for 2-3 months before burnout hits me and I suddenly have zero motivation to shoot and whatnot. But honestly, I don't know if it's truly burnout or it's because shooting portraits have started to feel more like work than for fun. The choosing of outfits, locations, and planning of themes, concepts, and mood boards have sort of killed it for me. Instead of having fun, I'm getting stressed out instead.
So for Christmas 2018, my workplace had this gift exchange called 'White Elephant'. Don't ask me why the name sounds racist, I wasn't the one who invented it alright. But basically, we just put all the presents bought on the table anonymously and go in a randomised order to pick these presents. My friend, Sean, told me to pick his. He said out of everyone, I would appreciate his present the most. And so I did. Boy, did I have no regrets. It was a Fujifilm disposable camera.
To many, a disposable camera might not seem much. One might view it as a bad camera, since you have absolutely zero control over the settings. But I think, that's exactly what I needed. It was a gift that allowed me to finally have fun again with photography just like when I first started. There was no need to stress over settings, or stress over any concepts. It allowed me to snap whatever I wished to in the moment. Whatever I deemed beautiful or aesthetic. So I started snapping away at my friends, nothing planned. Just very spontaneous moments of "hey, can I take a photo of you real quick?" and me laughing afterwards. There is no way of checking these photos, and I think that's what makes it less stressful and more fun for me. It's a carefree 39 shots worth of snapping.
Partner in crime at Chug |
Thank you for all the snacks Ewan |
Guys look, it's my very hardworking boss, Xinde, packing pastas |
Dude's been cooking us pastas and eggs every time I work, thanks~ |
Nehe posing while on the phone |
Austin washing them dishes |
I have no idea what we were thinking but here, have a fork |
Using the disposable camera really got me thinking though, when exactly did photography stop being "fun" for me? Was it the moment I got too geeky and serious about it and bought a camera? Or was it when I started taking portraits? Because I remember how when all I had was my iPhone 5s, and I was just walking around snapping the most random of things because they simply looked aesthetic to me. I guess I still do, when I see amazing light. I just sort of take out my iPhone 7 and take a few shots.
Photography for me was about spontaneous moments, about beautiful fleeting moments, about people that mattered to me. And I guess I forgot that as I was chasing after a more serious form of photography that wasn't "me".
But the true "revelation" moment was probably when I was sending Jodie home the other day, and we were just standing at the corridor, admiring the view. The golden hour was cast onto these HDB buildings, and it truly was a magnificent view. I couldn't help but take out my phone to capture the view in front of me, and as I was snapping away, it made me realise the fun I was having. And it was fun I haven't had in years, to be perfectly honest.
Sunlight was beautiful |
Turning head to the side for more feels |
Feels is real in this shot |
View of Braddell at the 30th floor |
View of Braddell, this time with a girl in it |
I had been so busy chasing after recognition, chasing after the perfect street photos, chasing after unique portraits, chasing after my own "style", that I had forgotten what it was like to simply enjoy the process of taking photos. I had forgotten how all of these even started. As have many others, in this Instagram dominant world.
But it's not like I would stop taking portraits entirely after discovering this, no. I will still take portraits from time to time, it's not that I don't enjoy it at all. But I'd probably stick to more relaxed kind of shoots, or shoot when I have a really nice idea I wish to execute. It's more of, I am going to indulge in my random snapping again like I did in 2014. Maybe get myself more disposable cameras to shoot with. Because these are what I truly found / find fun in photography.
From customer to friend - ms tummy |
Thankful for all the food you have bought us, Tabs |
This is what I mean by I chase beautiful light |
Supporting Jodie's booth at EOY where I bought lots of keychains |
I absolutely adore this outfit and would shoot it some day |
A hard day at work demands a hug from the person that gives me the most comfort |
"I need more radish damn it" |
Out for a shoot at East Coast with Eva |
Drinking ice milo at Burger King |
This is really unglam but it was captured by Jodie... |
My... Valentine's? I am kidding, Chug was selling flowers and Jodie likes flowers |
So I bought her a bouquet |
Disappointing fluffy pancakes sadly |
Little girl wanted to ride on the kiddy ride so badly |
Did not think this shot through but oh wells |
Max here stealing the other Sean's Boost juice |
Best cafe we've been to so far |
Good coffee, good dessert, good pork don. 5/7 |
Impromptu photoshoot that followed after, because I wanted to finish my disposable |
Of spiral staircases and a beautiful dress |
"This dress has pockets" |
Here is me, chasing beautiful light once again |
Really love this shot though?!?! |
I. Love. Good. Light. |
Are we advertising for cafes now? |
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