As 2018 comes to an end

Merry Christmas y'all. Well, it's still Christmas as I'm typing this, though I'm sure it's no longer Christmas by the time this goes up.

How has 2018 been for all of you? I think it's been pretty much a roller coaster for me honestly. And if you've been reading most of the stuffs I post here, you pretty much know most of the important things that's been going on in my life. 

But of course, as always, it's a tradition for me to sum my year up. First things first, I think the most important milestone this year has to be my ORD. Which is to say, I'm done with national service. Finally. Secondly, I broke up again. That would make it my second failed relationship. But it's not like it was as bad as the first, it was just suffocating, and I guess my feelings kinda died along the way. So the break up isn't exactly a bad thing that happened in my life this year, it's a good thing (sort of) to me.

Next up, is the INSANE amount of people I've worked with this year. And the amount of people I've gotten to know. 2018 was a year of opportunities, and I took those opportunities. It might not seem like a lot... but these are the people I worked with from September to the end of November. I'm just really thankful that all of them even agreed to work with me like what (???!!!) My skills were really very mediocre when I started shooting again, the hiatus really made me rusty. But I think with that hiatus, came a different perspective and a different edit. And it was this edit that allowed me to work with so many talented models. 
Also, I really wish to thank the photographers below for the chance to learn from them and the way they shoot. They offered really different perspectives which helped me to grow as a photographer. Some examples are Chenhan's Japanese style of photography, and Natalia's cling wrap tip which was immensely helpful!!!!

Models:
Lishan (@lishantheyogi)
Naomi Huth (@naomi_huth)
Xue Ning (@tainted_smiles_)
Nehemiah (@neheeee)
Terese (@tereseannepereira)
Shixuan (@_shixuanxuan)
Nadine (@nadineleannetan)
Katrina (@katstified)
Michelle (@michelle.emmanuelle)
Rachel Lee (@rachlsq)
Nicole Crampton (@nicolecrampton)
Beverly (@yobevo)
Jodie (@reina_jejuneness)
Rachel Wong (@rachwsj)
Hana (@danhana.library)
Juhi (@juhinars)
Charissa (@charissatung)

Photographers:
Kevin (@kaleidoscovin)
Chenhan (@chenhan_photography)
Ernest (@412.am)
Dillon (@dillon_photogs)
Natalia (@natalianaa)

Makeup Artist:
Suzana (@suzartistry)

But out of all these people, there's one person I really wish to thank. Which is Lishan. Because of her, I got to work with a make-up artist for the very first time. And it was an amazing experience. The shoot feels extremely different with a make-up artist around, different make-up, different hair-dos. The whole thing just had me in awe. But that's not all, Lishan was the first model I shot after my hiatus of about 9 months. And I'm grateful for how patient she was with me as I was stumbling through everything, unsure of my own aesthetics. It took me insanely long to find an edit that I liked as well for that set of photos as I hadn't edited much for the entire year. Also, I was looking for a job at the time and it was Lishan that introduced me to Chug Chug where I've been working part time at since September.

Chug Chug is one of my highlights of the year, I guess. And although it's really tiring, it's a place where I really have lots of fun to be honest. My colleagues are as good as friends at this point, and some of the regular customers have become friends. (Right Tabitha and Xin Xuan?) I didn't think I'd have so much fun working, but here I am. Laughing every time I work. It's truly amazing. I have 2 bosses who care about me, and for that I'm touched and thankful. And I really owe it all to Lishan who introduced me to this job. 

Before I continue, I just want to say that my motivation to shoot just comes in this huge burst or spurt. It dies off in two to three months, which is why I cram as many shoots as I can while I still have the motivation. And right now, that motivation has faded once again. As it did last December. But I'm glad I've got to work with so many amazing people this time. When I look back at it all, I'm just shocked. Sure, there are a few familiar names, but most of them agreed to work with me upon my DM. And I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. 

2018 has also been a year of friends. It's a year where I've met up more frequently with my secondary school friends, it's a year where I've made a ton of new friends, it's a year where I've found really good friends from army. While I went to Korea last December with Yi Hong and Jordan, this year we went to Kuala Lumpur along with Harvest and Dominic. It was a pretty wholesome trip filled with lots of food but ended up with all of us getting food poisoning. 

Sometimes, I do wonder if friendships still last... But then I look at these bunch of idiots that I've known since I was 13 and I guess... yeah they do last. 

And speaking of friends, I made a really close friend in the most unexpected place. Jodie was one of the people I asked to shoot with, coz I just wanted to try shooting a cosplayer. She was from my course in poly, and she readily agreed to it. Out of nostalgia, I picked our poly as the location for the shoot - Ngee Ann Poly. A bit of context, but we've probably only said less than 10 sentences to each other while we were still in school. Which is to say, we barely know each other. So yeah, off we went to shoot, and for the first time since I've known her since I was 17, we actually talked. We spent more time talking than actually shooting to be honest, because Ngee Ann wasn't as photogenic as I imagined it to be. Fast forward to later on that week, she came down to Chug Chug because she was feeling really down and from there our friendship started. 

In case nobody reading this knows, I haven't had a proper closure from my first relationship. It's been close to three years, and I've only recently just achieved my closure. It wouldn't have been possible without Jodie. I guess I never had someone who knew my first love but yet could remain a neutral party. I guess I never had someone who I could feel so comfortable talking about my first relationship with. So for the first time in three years, I finally broke down while talking about it. I finally came to terms with things I couldn't before. I finally achieved closure after three years. 

And of course, Jodie has been helping me a lot with my anxiety attacks and my depression. She's the first person to have been able to comfort me properly when my anxiety hits. My bros are definitely not the kind of people to be able to do that, and of course my ex couldn't either. If you haven't read my insta-stories, here's some information about my anxiety. It only occurs at 2 specific locations in Singapore because that's where my first love stays. Let's just say my attacks are really bad, it takes a lot just to calm me down. And Jodie does a really good job helping with it. Regarding my depression, my boss gave me a piece of advice. Which is to spend time with positive people and people who make me happy. I guess that's why you'll see me spending so much time with Jodie. She's a friend that really makes me laugh a lot, that really makes me happy. 

She's helped me in more ways than I can imagine, and impacted my life harder than most people in my life. And for these, I'm extremely thankful. That's why I put in even more effort to take care of her as a friend. She's done so much for me, that I think no matter what I do, it just isn't enough to repay her. 

I'm aware it gives people the wrong impression as a result. Everyone thinks we're dating or that there is something going on, even when there's none. I'm aware that people will eventually point out the laws of attraction to me. That when you spend a lot of time with a person you will eventually fall for that person. But if you ask what my honest opinion is, I would never date Jodie. Simply for the fact that she is too good for me. I'm much too horrible of a person. And we both know it would never work out, which is how we stay so platonic. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really thankful to have such a friend in my life. And I know that there are some of you out there who thinks we should date (like you, Max), y'all can continue shipping us if y'all really want to. The plan is to get married if we can't find anyone before I die at 40 anyway. Just to make my family happy coz they all love her (especially my grandma). But if not, I doubt you'd ever see us dating. 

This sort of sums up my 2018 I suppose. It's been a weird year. 
A year of friends, a year of opportunities, a year of closure, a year of self-love, a year of healing. 

Cheers,
Sean

Market Vibes // with @tainted_smiles_

I've always had this idea in my head. The idea of using markets as a backdrop for portraits. I first got the idea from VSCO, when they had this article of a fashion photographer going to Hong Kong to take some portraits. The photographer wanted to capture the essence of Hong Kong, and hence used their wet markets for some really aesthetically pleasing portraits. I was so inspired by it, that for years, I kept thinking about it. It's hard to find the right model for the shoot too, so it wasn't the easiest thing to do. When I first came across Xue Ning's profile (@tainted_smiles_) last year around October (?), I thought she was the perfect person for it. So I slid into her DMs, and asked her if she wanted to collaborate for a shoot. But at the time, she wanted to do something with flowers and so we did. Fast forward to a few days back, and I finally got a chance to materialise my wish of shooting in a market. 

And honestly, those are some of my favourite photos to date. I've always wondered, what am I looking for in locations. I guess I just want them to contain a taste of what Singapore is. So I hope you like these photos as much as I do.

The Cat Cafe

It has always been a bucket list sort of thing for me to visit a cat cafe at least once in my life. I failed to go to any while I was in Korea (probably thrice) because they were either not ready yet, or we were too late. I actually had no idea that Singapore even has a cat cafe to be very honest. That was until a friend of mine told me about one of the few that is at Bugis. 

The Cat Cafe, located opposite Bugis Junction and above Burger King (next to Bugis Street), charges $15 per entry which includes a free drink. Now you're probably thinking that $15 is a tad too expensive, and I agree. But cat cafes are so scarce that it makes sense that it's expensive. The good thing on the other hand is that it's per entry, so you can stay at the cafe playing with cats for the whole day. From what I know, the other cat cafe charges per hour, so this is pretty worth it. 

There are more than 10 fuzzy cats in this cat cafe, so you can choose who you want to play with. And to assist you in the playing with cats, there are a bunch of toys to grab the cats' attention. They are all totally cool with you petting them so pet them as much as you please. 

Personal favourite from the cafe, it's so cute

But there's a slight problem, and that's the light. It's actually really hard to grab a decent photo of the cats coz they tend to stay in areas which the sunlight from the windows don't reach. And they are constantly moving (both their faces and their bodies), which makes it all the more difficult to snap any photos. As you can see, I could only grab a good photo of the lazy cat by the window who's always sleeping. 

Visiting The Cat Cafe actually made me want to own a cat myself, but I'm not financially stable to do so and neither am I free enough to own one. They might be super lazy animals, but the responsibility is still there when it comes to pets. So I'd probably wait out for a decade or two before I finally get a cat I can call my own. 

Will I keep visiting The Cat Cafe until then? No, I'm really broke right now and can't afford luxuries like that. But if you have the spare cash and you want to play with some cats, go ahead man. 

Cheers

@filmpalette Instameet

I recently had the opportunity to attend an Instameet organised by @filmpalette. Probably my first Instameet in months, can't remember the last one I'd been to. I've been so uninspired for so long to shoot, I figured this would be a great opportunity to get inspired. There were a couple of big names that would be attending, also since this was purely for portraits, I thought to myself that if this doesn't inspire me nothing would. 

And true enough, it did help me in some ways. Just by watching @paper.ends do her stuff, shooting the models, I learned so so much.

Now it's usually really hard to get any proper shots of models when you're at an Instameet, which was why I had to slap on my 50mm (75mm equivalent on my nifty crop sensor camera). I needed that extra zoom so as not to get other photographers in the frame. Sure, that limits my framing by a lot, but I didn't have that much of a choice. But on the bright side, more BOKEH! Another thing I had to do was be shameless and walk to the front (not something I really like to do but all for my shots). Managed to cover the rest of the photographers with my perky ass and asked Naomi to face my camera for the shot above, which I think is my best shot for the day.

Yes before you say anything, I know the compositions for the shots aren't exactly the best. But the sunlight was 11/10 that day, coming from in between the buildings. It was perfect for backlit shots, but the background wasn't very pretty. So I had to shoot wide open and bokeh-fy everything at the back. Not really how I like to do things, but just this time, I let myself indulge in some creamy bokeh goodness. 

I think the hard part came after the meet. The editing. I haven't edited photos in way too long, I didn't really know what to do. Especially the backlit shots. The harsh sunlight gave a flare of sorts, making editing tough for me. I have never shot any photos like that before after all. I decided to say screw it and go with a dreamy look for my photos. Even though the advice was to bump up contrast for shots like these. But I felt like I could make use of the sunlight better than just bumping up the contrast. So I went for a dreamy look. And hopefully it turned out well.

But well, overall I think it was a really productive meet. I managed to get some pretty decent shots even with so many photographers crowding around one model. So yea

Cheers?

Away

The longer I'm away from my camera, not using it, not out shooting, the more I lose the feel for it. Sure, it's a good thing to take a break occasionally, but sometimes it feels like I might end up quitting for good. Even if I know that's not gonna happen. Photography is something I'd never quit (I think). But right now, that break is what I need I suppose. An even bigger break from social media is much needed too. I'm currently off Instagram for 3 weeks and going, but who knows when that will end. I'm not as good as Mango street, being able to go without any social media for 3 months, but I'll try. 

Of Envy and Courage

Thinking about what you want to do in the future can be such a scary thing. It was such a simple thing to think about when we were kids, but as we grow older, reality sits in and decisions become much harder to make. Some of us are blessed with knowing what we want to do at a young age. Others, like myself, find it extremely hard. Torn between different choices, unsure what is the best course of action. I'm sure I talked about it briefly before, but writing helps to collect my thoughts, so here I am again. 

When I was 16, after my O's, I thought long and hard about what I wished to study in poly. And my answer came to be psychology. Throughout the three years of studies, I was so sure that I'd either be a social worker or a psychologist. But as my passion in photography grew, so did my desire to become a photographer. It was a far-fetched dream, and I knew it. I wasn't sure if I should chase that kind of dream. As I started to write to express myself, I fell in love with English. To the point where I got confused again, where did my passion lie. Perhaps I should pursue a degree in English and become a teacher is what I actually considered. Before I knew it, I was almost done serving the nation. The career fair used a few questions to work out what would best suit me, and the answer was to be a journalist. 

To be honest, I'm not sure if that would suit me very well either. All I know about myself is that I don't really like being cooped up in an office. I like a job that's pretty flexible as well. Come to think of it, I should just be my own boss huh. 

But it's not like I don't have a dream job. I do aspire to write for lifestyle magazines such as Kinfolk. Such is a dream that's just a little too far. Too far for hands like mine to reach. 

Truth be told, I'm at a complete loss. 

I envy people who chase their dreams. It takes courage to do that. Unfortunately for me, I lack that kind of courage. 

A Trip Filled with Food

As many of you may not know, (unless you've been watching my Instagram Stories from 7th July to the 10th) I was in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a short trip. It was a budget trip truth be told. From the air tickets to the BnB we stayed at, everything was gotten on a budget. Sure, we had a whole lot of delays for our flight there and our BnB was pretty much an hour's journey away from the airport or more. But we can't complain, it was budget. 

I've never really been to Malaysia much, only Johor Bahru earlier this year. So I don't know what to really expect at KL. Plus, we didn't have any itinerary. You're probably going ballistic now as you read this. How can we not have a basic plan right? But that's just how we are. Even for Korea, we only knew how many days we were gonna spend in Seoul and Busan and winged the rest of it. It was the same this time, we winged it. 

We only sightsee-ed once, and it was at this place called Batu Cave. We climbed up a heck load of stairs and were rewarded with some pretty cool views. Was it worth it? I'm not sure. You can take a look at the photos above and below and decide for me.

I was told that this looked cinematic

How bout that, ma boi Jordy looking fine

Just me giving a million dollar smile

They had some real elegant structures, so I gotta get an elegant photo

Ah, sweet ol' Dom

The bulk of our trip though, was visiting different shopping malls and really just eating. That's where most of our money went. All on food and on taking Grab. But it was also food that caused our downfall, though that's a story for another day. Of course I did spend a significant amount of my money on gifts for my parents, so there's that. But I shouldn't be boring you with details like this. It's the food that we want to see, ain't it?

Mango Crepe aka my winning shot for the whole trip

Featuring Dom's hand and food

Like my title already suggests, this trip was all about the food. Of course, I didn't do something as dumb as to take photos of our every meal. I just took the ones that were aesthetically pleasing, or would make great photos.

As every photographer on social media likes to think these days, "bokeh equals pro". I shot at f/2 - f/2.8 for most of these photos on my 35mm, trying to capture as much bokeh as I can. I can't do flat lay, so I do bokeh instead. Besides, I like trying to capture more detail up close too. 

Fun fact: the above photo of the mango crepe was by chance. I didn't even remember myself taking a photo at neutral level like that. I applied my "cafe brown tones" preset on it which is usually meant for natural light and wooden surfaces in a cafe settings. It was tweaked from the Mango Street's Portrait preset, believe it or not. I found the overall tones to be apt for cafe settings so I changed things accordingly so it made the food still look good. But as I was saying, that photo was originally pretty bright but the preset changed the entire bokeh background dark, enhancing the focus on the mango dripping down that ice cream. Ooh, so bokehlicious. 

Pancakes galore

Pretending to cut it

"Is someone boomerang-ing this?!"

This is it, chocolate heaven

Are we dead yet?

No? Good, round 4 here we go

We had some pretty good chocolate filled desserts at Dip & Dip, which was recommended to us by our friends. No regrets is all I have to say. Simply because they were all so good. And that's coming from someone who is picky with his desserts. So if you're in KL, give it a try. I promise you won't regret it. Though we might have to exercise really hard just to burn off all that sugar. 

But if you asked me which meal was the most satisfying one? It's got to be our lunch on the last day. We decided to have Chinese food at a restaurant and shared some dishes. Braised pork, salted egg yolk chicken, a plate of vegetables, dumpling, etc. All of us agreed that they served the best food throughout our trip. Nothing could top that. I wish I had better photos to show for it, but this was the best I could do. I was starving too badly to even hold my camera straight. But not to worry, they are all bokehlicious. 

Also, one more thing about food worth mentioning is that one of our breakfasts was settled by our man Harvest. He'd decided that he wanted to cook for us at least once, and so we let him. And boy are we glad we did, cause he was a really good cook. Note to self to always bring someone who can cook to travel overseas with. In Korea we had Jordan, this time, we let Harvest take charge. Though Jordan still insisted on cooking his own eggs. It was really funny to watch.

The man in action

I would also like to add that we gamed away every night and every opportunity we had. We really are addicts. But that's not the point is it?

Point is we had our fun, tons of it. 

Cheers.

Bonus story for anyone still reading:

And our last meal at the airport? It had four out of five of us waking up to an intense episode of food poisoning. I said that it was meant to be another story but nah, I'd just share it here. We ate at this Kopitiam looking place in the KL airport, and excluding Jordan, the rest of us ordered from the Western stall. It was all good. Then we got home and had ourselves a good sleep. When we woke up? Diarrhoea and puking. It was mad. I ran a fever, had all my energy drained out of my body and could barely move. Even the doctor was shocked at how white my face had become. It truly was an experience and a lesson learnt. Only eat at restaurants when in Malaysia, and not hawkers and Kopitiams. Well we'd be damn.

The Craving

I find myself asking myself this question a lot. For whom do I shoot for? The answer is pretty pathetic, for I shoot for my Instagram feed. Sure, tons of people are shooting for their Instagram. But take Instagram out of the equation and what am I shooting for? There is a void that must be filled, but there is nothing to fill it.

As do most humans these days, I crave for recognition as well. Instagram is one of the simplest ways to satisfy that cravings. It's a sickening revelation, really. But this is how low we've dropped as humans. Let's just move on with life as we acknowledge that. As a result of me chasing that little recognition Instagram has to offer, it has caused me quite the big headache. In fact, it's impaired my life. When you're constantly thinking about what to post, what hashtags to use, what timing to post, and all that, you know you've went ahead and dived into the rabbit hole. I'm not a planner like Shirley is, y'know. She plans nine posts in one go to have it look good. I just post one at a time, keeping it messy. Even that in itself gives me a headache. 

In order to keep that "engagement" going, I make it a point to post everyday. I was I'm Kuala Lumpur recently with some friends, and I found myself posting a photo while we were out doing stuffs. Like really? I had to question myself, what even was I doing? The whole point of the trip was to enjoy myself and let loose, not worry about which photos to post everyday. 

This chase of course led to an addiction to the app. How I constantly open the app every few minutes, or when I have nothing better to do. I open it so many times a day, that it was eating up so much of my data. Especially after I post a photo. I'll open twice as often to check the amount of "likes" I'm getting. In fact, I'm always so close to bursting my data every month because of this damn app. It never used to be like this. I started to wonder, whatever happened to the times when I used less than a GB of data every month.

And then there's Insta Stories. At first, it was just a story every now and then. Now, I find myself storying this and that. It's as serious an addiction as my postings. One friend pointed out to me how much I storied. And just today, I stopped myself from storying as I was telling Shirley a story idea.

I digress. No not really. They are all sub-points of a main point. What's the main point? That Instagram is slowly poisoning my life. I'm not even indulging in my old hobbies like I used to. What happened to reading? To watching dramas? To playing games? Now I'm just stuck on my phone opening and reopening Instagram like some idiot.

And that has got to come to a stop. It's time for me to stop being a slut for recognition, to stop being a slave to this app. It was painful, but I deleted the app (AGAIN). I have no idea how many times I've deleted and re-installed the app, but bear with me. I can barely bear with myself either. The last time I deleted, I wanted to shoot based on inspirations from outside. But I was still trying to shoot for my feed. So this time, what if I didn't want to shoot for my feed. What would I be shooting for? There won't be a place for me to show my photos, and if that's the case, what's the point of my photos? I've asked myself that a lot as I was scrolling through my phone gallery, looking at my KL photos. 

My life crumbled. And that's how the story ends. No not really. But I haven't had it figured out. If not for Instagram, then what purpose do my photos serve? For memories, for keepsake? If that's the case, I can jolly well delete all my portrait shoots. They do not fulfil that. For my portfolio? Perhaps.

I actually envy how most of the Instagrammers out there can just keep shooting, keep creating, without ever actually questioning themselves, the way I do. Is it my psychology background that causes me to do this? Because it's made me so used to questioning things that I've started to question myself so often? I truly have no idea. And I think that's how I've lived my life anyway. Not knowing is sometimes better than knowing.

Now that I've deleted the app, what am I gonna do? I ordered a few Kinfolks, so I guess it's time to do some reading. I'm currently reading "To all the boys I've loved before" and I love it. It's been a really long time since I read a storybook, so it feels refreshing. My 3DS is probably waiting for me to pick it up and play, so I might get to it. Currently watching a Korean drama "Wok of Love" as well, since it's been a year that I've found a drama I like.

Would I be shooting? Yes most definitely. I have to shoot to find my answers. That has always been the case for me. Would I shoot for memories, or for my portfolio? Maybe both, maybe neither. Maybe without Instagram, there is no point in me shooting anymore. We never know now, would we? I do know I won't be contacting any models to shoot. Truth be told, I don't even know what to shoot. I've shot portraits for so long that I don't really know how to shoot other genres. Maybe chase some sunsets haha. It's been a while since I've done that. Well, whatever. 

Would I re-install Instagram? I feel like it's gonna be a yes eventually. But I wanna try and see how long I can stay off the platform. It won't be forever, for I've made many friends on the platform. 

So till next time,

Cheers

What you need

There are just days when you don't feel like getting up. When your body weighs too much. When you're feeling under the weather. And as much as responsibility compels you to get back on your feet and to drag yourself to work, you just can't. You don't even have to check your temperature to know that you're sick. Your entire body is telling you so. It's not what you want, but what you need. It's a sign that our bodies have worked for too hard, and that it is time for a break. 

So go ahead, laze in that bed for a couple more hours to replenish your rest. Stay at home and do nothing but watch your favourite tv shows. Eat a little healthier, and drink lots of water. Most importantly, do not think about work or anything that will stress you out. 

///

My second time getting food poisoning in such a short period of time sigh. First time being end of May. And it's one of the worst feelings ever. It's a lot worse this time, because I actually had a fever and I puked real bad. Lost all appetite and was so weak I could barely stand for more than five minutes. I'm not even exaggerating. The doctor was so shocked when he saw me for the consultation because my face was as pale as a sheet. I'm glad I'm feeling better, but I really gotta be more careful when it comes to food from now on. 

Cafe Hopped (no not really)

Located somewhere down the alley of a certain road in Johor Bahru, there lies a cafe called Bev C Cafe. And it's a cafe that's tricky to find because it's hidden on the second floor. I walked around the block so many times, not knowing that it was upstairs. If you were expecting a review, don't. Let me stop you here right now. The pasta I got was filled with chili oil, and I died from the spiciness. I can't even remember the drink I got, perhaps it was a mocha. But it wasn't fantastic, there are much better ones out there. 

I just wanted to take the chance to show you the food photos that I took while I was there. They can be improved, without a doubt. But I'm just a newbie at this, so go easy on me peeps. The photos were actually edited with Mango Street's Cinematic Lifestyle preset, slightly adjusted to suit the photos more. 

I'm not really good at food photography, but it definitely is one genre of photography that I wish to get better at. You see, I've got this dream of taking photos for Kinfolk one day. Or write for them even. Whichever I can get. I'm not there yet, but I'll hone my craft till I finally make it there. 

Figuring it out

Some of you may know this, but I haven't actually done any proper shoots in a long while. Even if I've been inspired by this and that, I haven't gotten down to shooting any proper portraits. The reason is simple, to be honest. And it's that portraits have gotten too comfortable, too repetitive for me. All I'm doing is changing the background and the model, the way I shoot remains the same. The way I pose my models remain the same. The way I compose each shot remains the same. Maybe it's because I don't have crazy ideas for each and every shoot, but shooting portraits had gotten slightly boring for me. I attend workshops, but it only makes things worse.

And I'd grown sick of keeping a portraits only feed on Instagram. Because when I'd started this shit, I never had any intentions to stick to one genre of photography. I was largely influenced by VSCO, and its community. And by that, I mean I shot random things - snapshots if you might. Taking a photograph of a nice landscape, a cinematic street shot, a documentation of a haircut, a touristy portrait, and sometimes, a random flower. You get the point. At some point, I started to only focus on portraits, and neglected everything else. Maybe that's why I got so creatively frustrated. I was holding myself back by only focusing on one genre. I wasn't being myself anymore. That was never what photography was to me. Photography was a way of documenting my life. And portraits? They don't do that, unless I'm taking photos of the people who mean something to me.

I got lost along the way of my photographic journey. Sidetracked, misled by this and that. It was a long detour, but I guess I'm back. And if you'd been keeping track of this blog, you'd see how many detours I took, how I've been trying to figure myself out on this blog. It's mad, my mind is everywhere, it's messy.

I like taking photos of anything and everything. I'm not afraid to say it, but I'm a VSCO kind of guy. So give me some time as I figure out the different kind of edits needed for the different kind of photos I'll be taking. 

I don't think I'll be doing any portrait shoots in a while, instead, I'll be focusing on documenting instead. Coffee shots, who I hung out with, a random scenery, nice aesthetics. I don't know what I'll be shooting, and I think that's what I like. 

To Feel a Little Magic

Have you ever had that feeling where you listened to music and that piece of music just somehow magically transported you elsewhere? From the streets of New York to the mountains of New Zealand. Maybe you've never been to these places before, but the songs just brings you there. And you're able to imagine it vividly for some reason.

I get that kind of feelings whenever I'm listening to American Authors. There's just something about their songs that brings me around America. I'm not even kidding. Since the first time I've heard their music, it never fails to bring me on an imaginary road trip. It's the kind of music that makes me feel alive. And I think that that's pretty beautiful. 

It's one of the reasons why I keep going back to their songs. To feel a little magic, a little life. 

Leaping into yet another phase in life

About two years ago, during this period, I remember receiving my enlistment letter. I was expecting it, but it was still a dread when I finally saw the letter. I didn't know what to expect from national service, it was scary. "It's just two years." Everyone would tell me, but it really isn't. If you're physically and mentally strong, then maybe, that two years would be a breeze. But if you're like the majority of young teenage boys, then entering national service is potentially one heck of a stressful event. 

My first two months was hell. During my Basic Military Training (BMT), everything was so physically draining, my body just couldn't handle it. Eventually I got injured, and was put on status for one month out of the two.

Well, it did get better afterwards. I was posted to be a driver, and it was there that I made some amazing friends. Zero physical training, so that was perfect for me. Driving though, was a pain in its own way. It took me seven tries before I finally passed the driving test. I was so emotional I actually called my mum in the midst of the heavy rain to tell her I finally passed.

Army isn't so bad, I would think to myself after driving course had ended. It was tiring, sure, but I had good company when we had to drive for outfields. We even got to go New Zealand as part of an exercise, and out of all the countries we could go to, New Zealand was without a doubt the best one. It wasn't perfect of course, the unit we supported was one of the worst this country had to offer. They showed no appreciation for support units like us drivers, and the technicians. Looking at you, artillery. Of course, there were good peeps who gave us the recognition we deserved. My man, Shiny Batto, Alientummy, and Mr. CSM Joshua. 

But of course, life never goes the way you want it to. We had a change in Node Sergeant Major, and that was when everything went to shit. All it takes is one guy to ruin a tradition that has been built for years. I mean, you know you're screwed if your own superior doesn't appreciate the work you do. And you know you're screwed ten times as bad if everyone in the office doesn't like this guy.

Off topic, as always. But yeah, before I even know it, my two years is almost up. By August 3rd, I'll be a free man once again. It's been one hell of a ride, there were tons of ups and downs. We were used and abused by this organization so much that we simply gave up and didn't want to be nice people anymore. They simply didn't deserve our help.

So what's next? To be honest, I forgot to apply for university. But that's because I thought the application would be AFTER the open house and not before it. What even is the point of having the open house after the application date. But it was a good thing that that happened, so I won't complain. See, I actually have no clue on what I wish to study. Psychology seems to be logical choice, since I did that in poly. But my interest for it is only 50%. I would have chosen English, but what would I do after I graduate? A teacher? Nope, not my thing. So I had time to think about all of it through, and there was the career fair I recently attended. And apparently, being a journalist suits me. Something I'd never considered before, so that's what I'm considering now. 

I'm obviously going to be working part time after I ORD, and I'll definitely have more time for shooting. So that's what I'll be doing. I haven't done proper portraits in a while, so I got to do that. I want to shoot some sunrises and sunsets too, and landscapes. Just so I can play with more edits. 

Most importantly, I will finally have more sleep. Hopefully. And I will never have to deal with stupid shit thrown at me by the army. 

ORD LO! I mean, Cheers.

Korea 2k17 (Seoul / Busan)

It's been almost six months since I embarked on my Korea trip with my close buddies, Jordan and Yi Hong, in the middle of winter in December. We had no proper winter clothing, just heat tech from Uniqlo, and a lot of layers. I wrapped myself in a whopping six layers, looking like a burrito, just to keep myself warm. The Korea trip was most certainly a life changing, and eye opening one. We'd decided on going free and easy for this one, so we had to book everything ourselves and boy was it tough. It was a lot more hassle than we thought. Itinerary wise, we only had a few rough locations in mind, otherwise it was all planned the night before in our BnB.

It was one hell of a crazy trip. We walked all day, slept at 3am, woke at 12 noon, and walked again. We spent all of our money, withdrew more, and spent again. We hiked in Busan, complained about our aching legs, had our breaths taken away by the view, complained again, and repeated the routine everyday. We bought food in marts and Jordan would make our breakfast every morning, and we'd snack on honey butter products past 1am. 

We struggled to find food everyday, because Yi Hong and myself couldn't handle too much spiciness. We struggled to find our ways because the two of them couldn't understand Korean and all I knew was basic Korean. I did my best to converse with the locals when purchasing stuffs, enquiring stuffs, and whatnot. 

We lived like locals. We stayed in apartments (BnB) instead of hotels, we visited marts, we took the trains and buses. We got lost, we laughed, we took a whole lot of photos. We shivered as the temperature dropped daily, and we found solace in shops embedded with heaters. We got excited like little kids as snow started to fall on us. We ignored our leaking noses and hurting ears, we fully enjoyed the moments. 

Korea, you were beautiful. We had one heck of a good time. The company was amazing, I couldn't have asked for better partners in crime for this trip. I'm looking forward to my next overseas trip. Hopefully Australia, or New Zealand.

Cheers.

Can you blame me? Their payphone looks so cinematic

The moment the snow fell

City boi

The crazy view that made it all worth

We risked our lives for these shots

Cliche

What do you do at a beach in winter? Take some photos

Your boi just chilling with two layers coz it got hot