Of Valentine's and Bad Memories

14th February 2014: I asked and you said okay, the day we started dating
14th February 2016: I figured something was wrong
14th May 2016:         Before I knew it, you were gone

I don't particularly like Valentine's anymore. Or the 14th of every month. Every 14th is a reminder of what was, what could have been. A reminder of you. Valentine's is drawing near once again, and my heart still aches, it still cries. Every year, it brings forth a flood of memories, both good and bad, and with it, the pangs of pain.

They tell me that this torture is caused by no one but myself. That if I move on, it will all be fine. But how do I tell them... that I have no control over this pain? I tried to forget it all, I tried to bury it all. It didn't work. It never does. I end up feeling it all at once instead. The pain never lessens with each year, and it probably would never lessen.

They say that one day I will meet someone who will change things for me. That there is someone out there who will help me move on from this pain. That someone would help me believe in love again. And... I really wish to believe in that. 

But until then, I guess I don't particularly like Valentine's.