Self-improvement

If you've been reading this blog frequently or have seen some of my previous posts, you might know how much I like going to the beach. I was at the beach again with my family recently and I thought I'd post some photos from that day. Decided to change everything into black and white because it feels more raw? 

But on a side note, I'll be taking a break from all of my social media for an indefinite period by deleting all of the apps from my phone. A year ago, around this same time, I did the same thing though I could never delete Instagram from my phone. Back then it was because I was getting too addicted to social media, hence the decision. This time, I decided to delete all of them from my phone but for a different reason. I feel like it has been inhibiting my creativity and life to a certain extent even if I'm not using it extensively. It's also a way to stop myself from using my phone so often, and only use it for essential purposes. I will just take this time to focus more on my photography and writing, and hopefully it helps me improve. And maybe I'll try picking up Japanese again after 6 years. Learning a new language is always a good thing and never bad right? Though the sight of the Japanese alphabets is enough to scare me, nonetheless, I'll just give it a shot and see how it goes. 

I'll continue to post over here every once in a while I suppose, that is if I have anything to post. 

A New Beginning

It's been about a month and a half. 

I'm still slowly letting go and moving on.

Though it hurt a lot in the beginning, 

it's starting to hurt less with each passing day. 

-

After finally getting my shit together (thank you Randell), I've started working part-time at a cafe that sells cakes near my place. My first week of work went quite well and smoothly. It wasn't as difficult or boring as I thought it would be. In fact, there were quite a few enjoyable moments, like learning to tie a ribbon on a cake. I never thought I would have so much laughter trying to learn to tie a ribbon. It feels like I've hit a restart button for my life, so here's to a new beginning. And well, I made a friend at my workplace, so that's a good start to this new beginning right?

Graduated

So, after three long years, I have finally graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with my diploma in psychology. While I'm sure others all feel bittersweet about leaving school and all, I for one, am absolutely happy to have finally graduated haha. It's not that I didn't enjoy myself the past three years, because I honestly did. I'm just really glad that I don't have to rush assignments and burn the midnight oil to study for exams anymore. After 13 years, I am finally free from assignments and exams (for now). So if that's not worth celebrating, I don't know what is.

My life in poly was filled with lots of ups and downs, it was almost like a roller coaster. From all these, I learnt many valuable lessons about life. And through my three years, I have matured and grown far more than I ever have in my whole life. Of course, a huge part of it was due to Nicolette, because she taught me so much things and helped me to grow so much as a person. If it wasn't for her, well, I don't think I would have survived my three years in poly. She honestly made it so so much better for me. I made friends and lost friends. No, I wouldn't say I lost friends, since it's not exactly a loss to me. I cut off people who were toxic to my life (ah, that sounds much better). I made good friends at the most unexpected time and place, 3 guys who play children's card games like me haha. I can't tell you how elated I was when I found out that there were still people who played Yu-Gi-Oh and Duel Masters. A little late, but thanks to Randell, I've picked up Magic the Gathering as well (just a little bit). Well, speaking of Randell, I never expected it and neither did I ever imagined it, but he became one of my greatest friends. Once again, it would never have been possible if it wasn't for Nicolette haha. 

I think poly was really an eye-opener for me. It made me much more realistic in terms of my mindset. It made me realize that there are lots of toxic people out there, who will always try to get you and put you down, but we just have to brush them off like dust and live our own lives. It showed me that there are many people putting on masks around us, and when their masks start to fall off, they show their true ugly colors with their nasty mouths and crocodile tears (if any of you fake people are out there reading this, cheers, you know who you are *wink wink nudge nudge*). I've learnt to be more skeptical and wary of people now, a lesson learnt the hard way, but it's worth it I suppose. It's Heaven's way of getting rid of people they know are bad in my life. Poly made me understand how important it is to do things early on and not procrastinate, or we'd just suffer miserably in the end. I've had to work late into the night many times for essays and group projects, but they could have all been avoided if I'd started earlier. You have no idea how important of a lesson this is. At some point, I'd started doing everything earlier and I got so much things done faster, giving me time to check my work and much more time to rest. 

[Shucks, I never intended for this post to be so sarcastic and douchey, but oh wells.]

So, what's after poly I hear you ask. Well, the nation wants to give me free gym and workout for 2 years, so that's that. Haha, I originally wanted to study in university after army, be it social work or psychology if possible. After internship and my last semester of study however, I decided that I would like to work first instead. I want to try working in different sectors (e.g. old folks, children, couples, etc.) first before choosing a course to study in. Yes, that's a nicer way of saying "I don't really know what I want to study, so I'll work first." But that's not the only reason of course. I just feel like I wouldn't be able to do group projects very well in my current state, I won't have the patience to deal with people with lousy attitudes. Alright fine, there's more reasons. I don't want to bump into any of the lousy people in university aforementioned in this post. There, I said it. It's not that I'm petty and wish to avoid them at all costs, but well, things are going to be ugly so I'd rather avoid that than having to argue / fight / put up with fake people. So yes, I'm choosing to work first. 

Whether or not I'll ever go back and study, I'm honestly not sure. I may discover a passion for something else while I'm working, like writing or teaching. No, I'm just kidding, I'll never be a teacher. Maybe I'll be brave (or reckless) and end up pursuing photography / film making / anything in the creative industry. Who knows? I'm just going to take things slow and easy for now. I don't believe in having a super detailed life plan, like thinking so far ahead where you already plan when you'll retire and whatnot. Besides, my plans never go my way anyway, so don't really have a point in making one right? 

Hmm, will I miss any friends now that school's officially over? I think I'm going to have to say no. I honestly wouldn't. Sure, I won't mind meeting up with some of my good friends once in a while, but other than that, no I won't miss anyone. I'm sorry if that disappoints any of you haha. 

[Gosh, this turned out even more douchey than I thought. I'm so sorry man.]

Camera Dictionary

These days, most people probably own a camera, be it a DSLR or a mirrorless. But since technology is so advanced now, a large percentage of camera users use their cameras on full auto mode without really understanding how the camera works. And it's hard to blame them, figuring out all those geeky terms can be quite confusing and difficult. If my dad hadn't taught me, I would never have been able to figure it out on my own. You might ask then, what's the point of learning all these so painstakingly when there's auto mode?

Because it gives you control over the photos that you're making. For example, it allows you to get the mood that you want for your photo instead of doing it in post-production. So just like how my dad helped me with the camera lingo basics, I'm gonna help you guys out too.

ISO - ISO refers to your camera's sensitivity towards light. The normal range for DSLRs these days is 100 to 25, 600. When there are lots of light at the place you are in, we go for a lower ISO such as 100. However, if the place is dimly lit, or it's getting cloudy (and you don't want to use a flash), we use a higher ISO such as 3200. The higher ISO you use, the more grain you get in your photographs. With digital cameras, we are able to adjust our ISO accordingly with the light available to us. But with film, you are stuck with a fixed ISO because the film you buy determines your ISO. The ISO is usually written down on the film's name, such as Portra 400, where 400 refers to the ISO you'll be stuck with.

Shutter Speed - How long your camera's shutter is open to take in light. A faster shutter speed would involve larger numbers as the denominator (e.g. 1/1000) and a slower shutter speed would involve smaller numbers as the denominator (e.g. 1/80). Needless to say, a faster shutter speed means less light is taken in since it only opens for a shorter period of time, while a slower shutter speed means more light taken in. Faster shutter speeds are usually used for fast moving subjects (e.g. sports photography), and minimizes hand shake. Slower shutter speeds for subjects that are not really moving (e.g. portraiture), and can be susceptible to hand shake if too slow a shutter speed is used. What's the point of a slower shutter speed? It gives you more contrast in your photos, providing a nicer colour overall, whereas a faster shutter speed might end up giving you softer images. But these are not necessarily bad things, it all depends on what you're going for.
If we slow it down to shutter speeds like 1 second, or even 30 seconds, we call it long exposures and tripods are usually required because we do not have tripod-stable hands. Long exposures are useful when capturing water as they render the water into one smooth blur, and for sunsets where you get nice rich colours. It is also used very frequently at night, where high ISOs do not work at all. It can be used to capture stars, buildings, light trails, or light painting. One thing to note about using long exposures in the day (water, sunset, sunrise, etc.) is that it might be useful to bring some neutral density filters along, or you might get overexposed photographs. The filters help to block out some light, allowing for a longer exposure.

Aperture - Aperture also determines how much light your camera takes in when you take a photograph, but unlike shutter speed, aperture is determined by your lens and how wide open or closed it is. It is denoted by f/n, where n is a number. Apart from light, aperture also determines your depth of field. A larger aperture like f/1.8 gives you a shallower depth of field, where less things are in focus (more bokeh!). A smaller aperture like f/22 gives you more depth of field, which means more things in focus.

Shallow depth of field / Bokeh! 

Your exposure will then be set using the three settings (ISO, shutter speed, and aperture). Depending on what you're going for (long exposure, bokeh, etc.), your settings will change accordingly. So don't be afraid, and experiment with your settings!

Monochrome

A while back, I tried something fun on my Instagram. I posted only black and white photos for a month, and since I upload two photos a day there, it added up to a total of 60 photos. It was easy in the beginning, since I had some black and white photos which I'd been wanting to upload. However, after a few days, it got tougher and tougher. I was running low on black and white photos, and I didn't have much time to take new photos (only some iPhone shots here and there). Hence, I decided to take some of my old photos that I hadn't seen for a long time and reprocessed them as black and white. All I can say is that the results were awesome. Sure, there were a few photos that didn't work out in black and white, but most of the photos went well with it. Just by reprocessing these photos into monochrome taught me a lot more about black and white. My eye for black and white definitely got better in the process, being able to tell whether a photo would look good in monochrome and all. I learned the importance of shadows and highlights as well. In colour photos, shadows and highlights are usually not as important unless you're taking photos of light. But in black and white, they are very important, if you're not careful, you'll lose a lot of details because they all seem to blend in together.

Taking and processing photos in black and white only made me realize how distracting colours can be. Monochrome photos remove all of that distractions, allowing me to focus only on the subject, the emotions, and other details I never would have noticed in my colour photos. It was an amazing feeling for sure. Another thing is that I learnt to keep the details in my photographs as minimal as possible after this period. I guess it's because I realized that a lot of the details in the photos tend to turn out just black after being converted to black and white. Being more minimal with my photos also mean that they're less distracting now as well. I can say for sure that I now know how to better process my photos in terms of black and white.

However, I've since missed colour photos. And since we're living in the 21st century, I should embrace colour photos as much as I love black and white photos. So while my eye for black and white has sharpened, I would like to focus more on colour photos now. But for now, enjoy some of my black and white photos.

Chasing

These photos were taken last August when I went to a temple with my parents. I remember it was a funeral of a great person in the Singapore's Buddhist community. When our Prime Minister, Lee Hsien Loong, was about to leave the place, he was flooded by the citizens who were there. Most of them ran up to PM Lee with their phones, requesting for selfies and to have photos taken with him. For a moment, I thought everyone was chasing an idol. The entire scene felt very interesting to me, and since I had my camera with me, I decided to take a few photographs to document the entire process. My parents asked me to go ahead and take some photos with him as well, but I declined, it was more meaningful to document this down instead. This is probably one of the few photojournalist moments that I have on the streets.

Enjoy the moment

The best sunsets that I've seen have always been the ones where I am on the bus and know that even if I get down the bus at the next stop, I wouldn't be able to capture the sunset in all it's glory. I've always found it to be a pity that I am unable to take a photo of those sunsets and can only watch it in awe from inside the bus. But my mindset has since changed after watching "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". In the show, there's a photographer who tells Walter, "If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don't like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it."
So rather than taking a photo of a moment that he likes, he chooses to just enjoy that moment instead some times, to just be in the present and take it all in.

After hearing that, I no longer find it a pity if I see a beautiful sunset when I'm on the bus. Instead, I just sit and admire the sunset from inside the bus. It doesn't just apply to sunsets, it applies to all sorts of moments I come across in general. Being a photography hobbyist, it's very easy to fall into the mindset of wanting to take as much photos as possible and to capture beautiful moments (be it on the streets, in events, etc.). But this quote was a reminder that sometimes, it's better to just enjoy the moment in person. Even though you don't get a tangible memory, by enjoying the moment, you are creating a far more significant memory.