Strawberry Shortcake (with Michelle)

 

This shoot was taken a couple months back, but because of assignments and finals, I was unable to edit the photos only until recently. The whole idea came after I'd gotten Michelle that strawberry hat, and she bought a strawberry dress to match it. 

It definitely isn't a concept that is unfamiliar to us. We've done strawberry related shoots twice already. The first one being a simple one at Botanics Garden with just some strawberries. The second one, which was done in Chug Chug, involved a lot more props, and you can view the photos here. 

For the third strawberry shoot, we decided to head outdoors again - at Bras Basah Complex. I originally wanted to use a bookstore in the complex, but the owner rejected our plea so we made do and walked around to find nice spots we could use. 

And I'm kinda glad we stuck with the outdoors for this shoot because the weather and light was so extremely kind to us. We arrived just in time for the golden hour to shine at its best, and the wind worked in tandem with us instead of against us, allowing for the most beautiful photos to happen.

Michelle brought me to a rooftop garden that I never knew existed, and from there we walked to a nearby playground (also on the roof-ish!). The playground worked perfectly with the direction we were going for, so I just let my creative instincts take over at that point, trying to take as many photographs as I could. 

My personal favourite shot

I've been very inactive with shoots over the past year because I've been so busy with school, and because I've been in a slump for quite a while. However, I've had the opportunity to do three shoots this year. One for Lishan's cheongsam / CNY shoot, one for Xuening and her baby, Bailey, and lastly this strawberry shoot with Michelle. 

I'm very grateful for friends who ask me for shoots. Despite my slumps, and not knowing which direction to take my photography towards, they still place their trust in me. And in all honesty, it does help me a little. Once I get into the motion, my body moves on its own, and I am reminded of what it is that I love about photography - being able to create such beautiful aesthetics. 

That said, I don't think I'll be doing shoots all that frequent ultimately. As of now, school probably takes top priority (after all, I'm paying so much money for it). The only exceptions would probably be shoots that my friends ask for, paid shoots, and of course, concepts that I feel passionately for. 

Editorial Feature in VSCO

 

This post is about a year late, and I do apologise for that. A year ago, I wasn't updating this platform very much. Especially with the pandemic going on. But a year ago, around April, I received an email from VSCO informing me that they wanted to feature my photograph in an editorial. It was and still is a dream come true for me. (And you can view the article here)

I have had more than ten photos featured on their old 'VSCO Grid' since 2015, but having a photograph inside one of their articles is just on another scale for me. The article is about preserving connections through the pandemic, and they originally asked me to answer some questions. Unfortunately, my answers probably weren't what they were looking for (heh), and they had a lot of quotes to include, so they were cut out. So I thought why not, just leave the questions and my answers here.

"

1. Could you tell us a little bit about this photo, who’s in it and why they are important to you? 

This was taken a month before circuit breaker hit us in Singapore. In the photo are my two university friends, Bidhya and Laetitia (and also the first friends I made in university). What you see is them setting up the phone on a chair so that we could take some group photos together because we are all introverts and did not want to approach any strangers. It felt like a very intimate moment, so I snapped it using my disposable camera. 

2. What do you value most about your community? 

Personally, "community" for me has always been about the friends I hold closest to my heart, friends who I trust and are comfortable with. And I value nothing more than their presence and the fact that I can talk to them about anything. 

3. How have you been able to maintain your connections to others during this time? 

I think being an introvert, I'm not one for Zoom calls or FaceTime. Instead, it has been mostly through texts during circuit breaker. Since I have friends who work in F&B, I also take the opportunity to have short chats with them when I'm buying food to go since dine in was not allowed. 

Instagram has also been another form of maintaining connections while we have been trapped in the four walls of our own homes. Through things like us whipping Dalgona coffees, cooking our own food, or reviewing the latest show that we are watching, we are kept up to date about each other's lives even if we are unable to physically meet up. 

"

As we are entering our pseudo-circuit breaker once more, I was reminded of this editorial feature, and how it was relevant to us living in Singapore again. We will be forced into our own homes for the coming month, and preserving connections will prove difficult for many who crave physical interactions. But let us be grateful that technology has advanced to the point where we can easily text, call, or FaceTime any of our friends or family, allowing us to maintain our connections with our loved ones. 

The article is also linked in my 'about' page if anyone was curious, and I'm hoping I will have the opportunity to expand that "Editorial Feature" section of my page in the future. 

more films part III // spoilt $20 camera

 

Yes. I wear shoes, and socks to the beach. 

But that's not the point. Third blogpost for more films, simply because I felt I should split up the films accordingly to the cameras. This time, it's a $20 camera I bought from Plain Jane Cafe while I was out with Xuan. The camera looked really cute, and it was only $20 so I thought it would be a good idea. Long story short, it was not a good idea. 

First off, the flash did not work. Well at least for mine. Shannon bought one as well, and her flash worked just fine. As the cafe was all the way in Serangoon, I was lazy to go all the way back there just to get a refund. After all, the roll of film was already loaded in. So I did the best I could, I would just use this camera in sunlight. 

the photo when I realised the flash did not work

Next up, the camera body got increasingly sticky over time. I'm not exaggerating. It honestly felt like the body was melting, which made it kind of gross to hold. But I'm not one to complain about ergonomics like this one. The number one cause for my regret was... the camera broke down halfway. I wasn't even done with the roll. Maybe halfway? But the shutter button just stopped functioning. (Shannon's one worked all the way till the last shot by the way) 

But not only that, the rewind button was broken as well. Which meant... the film was trapped in there. Shannon's camera had this problem as well. But good news is, Whampoa Colour Centre can manually remove the film for you without damaging it. What you will get however, are light leaks when the photos are developed. For me personally, that's a win. I love light leaks, and they are impossible to get unless you deliberately open the back of your camera and expose the film to sunlight. And you'll see in all of the photos here that there are orange bits at the sides, those are light leaks. But there are others who think light leaks ruin the photos and their opinions are valid too. 

Anyway, colours wise, I didn't really like how they turned out. It was way too muted for my liking. And this post is to simply serve as a warning to not buy way too cheap film cameras. But since it was only $20, I'll simply take it as a lesson learnt. I'll be sticking to my disposable cameras from now on for sure. They never ever let me down and they produce the aesthetics I want all the time. May go back to the Kodak M35 from time to time, but I'm not the biggest fan of loading and rewinding film on that camera, it's way too difficult. 

But enjoy whatever photos I managed to get out of this camera and the light leaked goodness. Cheers.

shan bought all the food

nuggets

me and my socks

socks II

shan's camera

sleeping... in this hot weather?

just light leaks, nothing else

more films part II // fujifilm

 

Ever since Seanny bought me my first disposable camera (which was a Fujifilm), I haven't went back to it for a long time. I've been using the Kodak disposable camera instead simply because the Kodak offers 39 shots, whereas the Fujifilm only offers about 27. And when you're a broke student like me, you would want to get your money's worth. Even more so when both cameras are about the same price (~$20) where I'm at. It just made more sense to use the Kodak for me, and the Kodak had colours that I personally prefer after seeing my sister use it the first time. 

But's been two, maybe three years since he bought me the Fujifilm camera and I wanted to give it another shot. Mainly because I know a lot of people who prefer the Fujifilm disposable's colours, and there were many Japanese photographers who stood by it. So I went into my neighbourhood printing shop and asked if they had any. They said no, but they could order it for me if I wanted. So I said ok, let's do that. 

Ergonomically, the Fujifilm is way better. Let's get that right. The Kodak disposable requires you to hold onto a button for a long time before your flash is available, and there have been many times where my flash did not go off despite me holding onto the button for a long time. The Fujifilm, on the other hand, is a matter of a flick of a switch. Just slide the button up, and your flash is available instantly, and it goes off 10 out of 10 times. The Fujifilm is also slimmer, and smaller as compared to the Kodak, which allows me to put it in my pocket with ease. 

Colour wise, it's kinda hit or miss for me. There are times when it just gives me 100% what I've been searching for all this while, the green tint. But other times, it gives me too much orange tint in the photos, which I don't particularly like, but I don't hate it either. I think if the orange was toned down a little, I would have loved it. Of course, I can easily fix it in Lightroom, but I don't usually tweak my film photos because, 1. I'm lazy and 2. I want to see the film colours for what they are. 

Personally, I don't think the Fujifilm camera is one I would use in the sunlight. The colours it produces when used with the flash just outperforms by so much. But the same can be said with the Kodak camera. I think the flash what gives the disposable cameras that aesthetic of theirs. 

Would I get the Fujifilm camera again? For sure, simply for the ergonomics and that green tint. But economics wise, it would be more cost-effective if I stuck with the Kodak. So I'll leave the Fujifilm for days when I'm feeling richer. 

Enjoy the Fujifilm aesthetics. 

time capsule with shan

waiter oppa

caught between 2 oppas

Edgar / dragonball 

Neo Guan and Randell in the midst of our game

gothic Xuan 

Michelle at a retro cafe

candid?

potted plants and a strawberry

more films // kodak disposable

Hello, 

It's been long. Almost a year. Covid happened, along many other things. I was distracted by this and that, pulled back into the whirlwind known as school, worked a lot of part time, and without knowing, a year has passed. 

I am back, with yet another post about the beauty of film, because film is something that I hold dear. I made a mistake a couple of months back, and ended up with three disposable cameras to use. So over the past few months, I'd been slowly taking photos on my disposables. As my photos were spread out between the different cameras, it took me ages before I finished the first one. But there was some good that came from that, it acted as a restraint for me, so I could not rush to develop any films. Instead, I was forced to wait out till all three were done, before developing them altogether. The longer you wait, the more likely you are to forget whatever that you've taken. And the more likely you are to be surprised when you develop your photos. 

I'm just going to upload the ones from my Kodak disposables for this post. I only picked out a few because there is no way I'm going to flood the post with 58 photos. I'll post the photos from the Fujifilm disposable in the next post... Probably. Cheers.

beach day with Arica

somewhere in bedok

I love mango desserts

shake it shake it

valentines this year at The Masses

k-bbq with the bois 

shan / me / max

og 3rd gen chug crew

justseannyboy

demon slayer tees

seanny & charmy

shan's xmas tree

steamboat with the army bois

stacked up plates of meat

missing our bois Jordy and Harvest

biddy and her birthday gifts

Grief

“I eat a grief sandwich

I wear a grief coat

I watch a grief film.” - Lorde

If you have been through grief, then you know that when you are grieving, you live and breathe grief. Some people find it easier to move on from grief, and some a little harder. The feeling of having a hand gripped around your heart, squeezing it so tightly, you cannot breathe. A pain so sharp, yet the sounds never leave your mouth. Like a well that has been abandoned, your eyes too, are all dried up. 

You put on a plastic smile, and you trudge on with life because that is expected of you. Society does not wait, it will not give you a year to grieve and move on. So you force yourself to swallow the sandwich, to laugh and mingle with friends, to continue with life as if nothing had happened. When they do ask you, “are you okay?”, you lie and say “yeah, of course”. 

The world is unforgiving when you are grieving. But that does not mean that you are not allowed to. Take all the time you need to grieve. Watch those grief films, listen to your grieving playlist. Find people who you can say “I’m not okay”, and they’ll be okay with it. Laugh, then cry, then laugh again. Because sometimes, the best cure is to keep laughing. 

Some wounds never heal, some people never stop grieving. And that’s okay. Some days feel worse than others, but there are days that hurt lesser. Days where we forget about the grief even. But grief is like a ghost, it haunts us over and over. If there’s anything I’ve learnt with grief, it’s that one day it does get better. Not in the sense that we stop grieving, but in a way that we can live as we grieve. And perhaps, that’s the best we can do. Because this grief is our last connection to the person we love and lost.

S.

An Ode to Friends

I feel like I write about friends a lot, but as an introvert, I find it really difficult to make friends to begin with. But also, I made a promise to myself in 2016 that I would never neglect friends for any relationship ever again. Hopefully, I'm doing that well enough right now. So, in a way, I've been learning to treasure the friends that I hold dear to my heart to the best of my abilities. 

There have been many friends in my life, and it is impossible for me to touch on each and everyone of you. But, all of you have impacted my life in one way or another. Clearly, this was meant to be an end-of-2019 post, but that did not happen, so it's here 5 months late. 
I think I'm a really hard to approach person in general, so thank you to all of you who have made the first move to get to know me, and to be my friend.

2019 has been a year of friends for me. Catching up with my primary school friend, Melvin Lim. I also met up with Priscilla and Justin (though that was more end of 2018). Lots of quality time spent with my secondary school mates too, even going to JB with them. Hung out a bit with my poly peeps before my best friend Randell flew off to UK for further studies. Hung out with my army bois when Jordy came back from Australia. Made more new (but close and precious) friends at Chug like Max, Seannyboi, & Shannon. Went to university expecting to not make a single friend, but I made 2 really good friends (or VSCO girls), Bidhya and Lae, who are so so sweet. Became really good friends with Michelle after doing 3 or 4 shoots together, and we have since kept making amazing photos together. Xuening entrusting me with most of her shoots (almost felt like an exclusive contract), and even her maternity shoot. Rachel who got me a few paid photography jobs here and there. Megan who I went to the Epik High concert with. Naomi, my matcha buddy, who also gave me one of my craziest opportunities in 2019, which was shooting over 10 models in a day. Ariffin and Rosanne who often complained about linguistics with me. Sufyan who always geeks out with me.

Also made a friend called Arica over break-up conversations, who quickly became my girlfriend but that's for another day.

And of course, there are so much more. The friends I made through Instagram and from shoots, the customers who became friends from Chug. The full-timers at Populus who are so so nice to me.

So this one is to all of the friends in my life. Both old ones and new ones. 

Acquired Tastes - Coffee

As humans, we naturally crave sweeter or sometimes saltier food. Our love for ice cream, cakes, potatoes in every form, and fried chicken. The list goes on. Perhaps this craving comes from our body in the most biological way - that we are low on sugar or salt, and require some, lest we stop functioning. Perhaps it is entirely coincidental that we love the taste of these foods. Maybe we evolved as a species to have our taste buds wired like this.

But there are many things that we don't like having in our mouths growing up. In particular, the bitter things. And among the bitter foods that are available to us, coffee stands out. Even as we continue to hate on bitter gourds and Chinese medicine, humans do seem to enjoy the bitterness of coffee. With some avid coffee lovers scowling at those who add sugar into their coffee. 

And yet, nobody loves coffee as soon as they can start tasting. Coffee is an acquired taste. It takes a few tries to get into it. One's virgin coffee experience is often faced with an expression of disdain, followed by a "what the hell is that?" For some, they hate it after that first mouth. But after a few years, they taste it again with a skeptical mindset, and fall in love with it. Others, resort to coffee because of the need to stay awake in lectures, or for the sake of staying up till 6am to finish an assignment. And after having coffees for a month straight, cognitive dissonance occurs and they fall in love with it. 

For me? I only started drinking coffee after I met Arica, and after starting work at Populus. While Arica would bring me to various cafes to drink coffee, it wasn't enough to get me hooked. I get a free drink each shift while I'm working, so you can imagine the amount of mochas and lattes I've had. After drinking the coffee there for a few months, I started to feel a difference in my taste buds. Every so often, I'd go to a cafe with Arica or Max and we'd have a coffee. And I find myself lost in my thoughts, I'd be thinking "huh, this doesn't taste as good." But, I don't know what's good. Before, I would have just found all coffee bad in general. Then, it hit me. I'd grown so used to the beans at Populus and how they do their coffee, that I'd taken a liking to that specific taste. It could very well be dissonance in this case, or unconsciously, I've learnt to appreciate it. 

The coffee at Populus has become my benchmark now. And you'll always hear me complaining when I drink coffee from elsewhere. I'd be telling Arica, "I still think Populus is better", I shit you not. 

I don't have proper photos of coffee, because most of the time, I'm drinking it at work. And I just wanna also say, thank you to all the baristas at Populus for always giving me free coffees, I mad appreciate it. Especially Dada and Canon because they're usually the ones making for me when I go down for free coffee after school or when I'm studying.