printing your photos

 

As someone who was given the opportunity to print my own work during a module last semester, I must say I 100% agree with what Kai Wong said in this video. Often times, when I do shoots, I end up with a lot of photographs that I feel are good enough to me. These are photographs I put up on social media to act as a pseudo portfolio. However, as I have shared a few times before, after some time passes, these photographs tend to be forgotten. Especially when I do more and more shoots, because more and more photographs are added into this pseudo portfolio of mine. And so those earlier works get buried by more recent works. I honestly do think that with a social media portfolio mindset, the works we put out as photographers tend to start diminishing in quality. 

But in the class I took last semester, the goal was to produce photographs worthy of being printed in A3 size that were to be hung up on a wall. When I started looking through my own works, I realised there were very little photographs I would consider printing. I think the very idea of printing out the photographs attaches a really heavy weight to it (aside from the fact that printing paper is very expensive and I do not wish to waste a single piece). When you know that a print is very much permanent, somehow the way you take photos changes. It's not something that can be easily put into words, it is more of a feeling. 

When I started approaching the shoot I did for that class with this mentality, I was more serious about how the photographs should turn out. I directed a lot more than I usually would, and took more time to figure out the framing for the photographs. But the biggest difference for me, was in the selection of the photographs to print. Even though I could only pick ten photographs to print, I found it extremely hard to even pick more than five. These ten photographs had to not just be good, but amazing in my own eyes. And this is further explained by Kai in the video about how you'd become a lot more selective with your photos. 

Printing my work also forced me to pay more attention to the smallest details. The tiniest smudge on the wall that would normally go unnoticed on social media would be magnified into an eyesore when printed out. I honestly spent hours just removing blemishes on my work, after I wasted two prints. And let me tell you, wasting prints is one of the worst feelings as a photographer. 

My very first test print for my portrait overwhelmed me with feelings. There was a sense of satisfaction and pride when I held the A4 print in my hands that cannot be replicated with seeing my photos on a screen. All I can say is, it felt like an actual photograph. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, with my latest series, "yearning.", I feel that I have peaked in my growth as a conceptual portrait photographer. I know it may not compare to the works of other photographers, but the only person that matters when it comes to art is often ourselves. And I do feel that I have outdone myself by a mile. 

My next step as a photographer is to step out of my comfort zone. I want to do landscapes, cityscapes, streetscapes, travel photography, cinematic photos, photos that I will want to print and display in my own home. To do so, I will be relearning photography all over again. I want to feel that same excitement I did in 2014 when I was learning about gear and techniques from Kai's videos. 

me with my printed work

of dreams.

As I am near the end of my third year of university, I am faced with the looming question of what I want to do once it is all over. I've been avoiding the question for some time now, because I truly have no idea what it is I genuinely want. To be perfectly honest, I do enjoy the mundane routine of working f&b, where I didn't have to use much of my brains. But of course, I know it is not practical to work full-time in f&b in Singapore unless it was in a Michelin restaurant. 

The one question I often get is if I would ever pursue photography full-time. Honestly, there has been so many times in my life where I really wish to chase after my dreams without care. And when my photography prof told me I had what it takes, I was really so tempted to take that leap of faith. Then I think about the arts scene in Singapore, and I wonder again if I really wish to enter it. A world where Photoshop is more important than your photography, where every photograph just look like they are taken by the same person. I see photographers like Nguan, like Lavender Chang, and I dream a dream of being like them, creating what they like without worry and being recognised for it. Then I look at all of my past works, and there are only a few shoots I genuinely like after all this time. And my dream feels a lot further than I imagine it to be.