Honest Portraits

When people talk about portrait photography, the first thing that comes to mind is usually models with make up on and fanciful clothes, or portraits with a certain planned concept. Others might think of models doing very cool poses. Rarely would one think of taking standard portraits on the way to the market or for breakfast. When I first got my camera, I would bring it down with me every Sunday morning as I went to have breakfast with my parents. My subjects were usually on the street as I mostly did street photography.

One normal Sunday while I was out with my parents for breakfast, they suggested to talk a walk around the neighbourhood area as we hardly ever did that. We spotted some lalang plants and we had a mini photoshoot right there and then with all the groceries. I was very new to portraiture photography then as all I did was street photography before that, so I didn't really had a clue on how go about taking portraits. My dad, who used to be a portrait and commercial photographer back in the film days, took the camera and taught me a few tips about composition and using light. It was an eye-opening experience indeed.
After that day, I began to take more portraits with my parents when we went out for breakfast on Sundays. I would find walls to use as a background, or just a random spot on the street. Having some background in photojournalism, what started off a portraiture practice slowly became a project to me. I wanted to show that portraits need not always be in studios or glamorous photoshoots. It could be as simple as taking photos during a morning walk. I wanted to show that there was no need for cool poses and what not. These are my honest portraits.

Some were taken with digital (Nikon D5500) and some were taken in film (Nikon FM2). I will continue taking more photos of course, over the months and years. Hopefully, I can eventually change the subject to Nicolette after we get married. I would love to capture her candid moments as often as I can.

Slowing It Down

About two months ago, I went to buy a roll of film as I wanted to try out film photography. Since my dad's Nikon FM2 was recently repaired, I decided to put my skills to the test. I've been shooting full manual on my DSLR ever since I got it to prepare me for this moment (so that I would know my exposure settings). Paired with the Nikkor 105mm f/2.5, I shot the 36 exposures roll of film over the course of two months with my dad.

It wasn't easy at first, of course, being unable to see the results instantly and needing to do guess work for most of the exposures. However, a few exposures in and I was hooked. There was some sort of relief that came with using film. I never had to worry about whether the photos looked good or not (since I couldn't check), so I just moved on after I clicked the shutter. But it has also taught me to contemplate before taking each shot, something that digital never taught me. Because I only had 36 exposures, I had to make sure I checked the framing properly in the viewfinder first. I also needed to be sure that the exposure was right. This certainly slowed down the entire process, but looking at the photos, it was worth it.

Like I said earlier I took two months to finish the roll of film, so when I sent it to be developed I had already forgotten most of the photos that were taken. I received it one day before Christmas and it felt like an early Christmas present to myself from myself! It was really an amazing feeling going through all the photos one by one and being constantly surprised, "Did I really take that?". And when I saw the photos that my dad had took, I also realized that I still have much to learn regarding portraiture.

Maybe it's because I'm using a crop sensor DSLR, but one worthy thing to note about the Nikon FM2 is the viewfinder. It's much larger and brighter, and there is a circle in the middle which only aligns when the focusing is done right. This makes manual focusing so much easier and better! But the best part is that I have hard copies of all the photos, allowing me to study each photo in detail and knowing where and how to improve. I've already got my next roll of film on standby, and I'm excited to go shoot some more after I've improved my portraiture!

Nikon FM2 with the Nikkor 105mm f/2.5 lens attached

To Unwind

I've been an introvert my whole life. Even without taking any personality tests, I always knew that I was an introvert. It wasn't just being shy or quiet, I enjoyed my personal space and alone time. In fact, I got my energy from being alone most of the time. That was until I met Nicolette of course. I got energy from being around her, although there were times where she would need her own alone time. Because I enjoyed being around her so much, I forgot that I needed my alone time too.

And recently, after weeks of assignments and other stressful events, I felt very drained. In fact, I was completely drained. After talking to my girlfriend and my two good friends, I decided to take a day off from everything and everyone just to spend some alone time. Coincidentally, there were no classes on Thursday, so I made good use of the free day.

With no plan in mind, I headed out with only the bare essentials: camera, phone, water bottle, umbrella, notebook and my pencil case. I have to admit it was pretty awkward for myself in the beginning since I hadn't done this in a while. I relied a lot on my earpiece and music to feel comfortable as I was afraid of getting judgmental looks for being on my own. Society really knows how to make introverts feel at home. But after a long while, I decided to keep my earpiece and really embrace being alone - to be unaffected by everyone and everything and just enjoy my introverted time.

I took some photos at Vivo City / Harbourfront and had my lunch at Burger King (satisfying my fast food cravings), followed by going to the library at Bugis to borrow a copy of the 14th issue of 'Kinfolk' and just walking around that area before ending off my day at a Starbucks near my place with a hot cup of cappuccino and jotting down some ideas for photos. I haven't engaged in much creative thinking since school started so it was a good way to unwind and let my brain roam freely.

At the end of my alone time, I felt rejuvenated. Not fully, but enough to not feel tired. It was definitely a reminder to have some proper alone time every once in a while.

Bromance

Kids, let me tell you a short but slightly crazy story. A story that will go down for generations to come (for me and Randell at least). 

It was a Friday night, Nicolette and I just had our dinner in school and were trying to do some work. It wasn't exactly the best day for us, we were both in a slightly bad mood. That was when Randell called Nicolette, asking her to meet him and Jonathan at Bugis to talk. After we gave up on doing work, I accompanied her to Bugis to find them. I was going to leave after we saw them, but they told me to come along, so I followed them to the 7th floor of Bugis+. 

We were seated outside of '49 Seats', and one of their staff informed us that we had to leave in 10 minutes because they were closing for the day. Jonathan decided that he needed to go to the toilet and left the three of us there. After a couple of minutes, Nicolette needed to go to the toilet as well, leaving me and Randell alone at the table. We decided to move back in since the shop was closing and Nicolette came out from the toilet at the same time. Jonathan was supposedly still in the toilet, but that was when I saw him peeping at us from behind a wall. I didn't think much of it, neither did I say anything, because that's what he does. Randell and I then decided to go check on Jonathan after a few more minutes because he was taking too long.

We went in and found no signs of Jonathan. When we came back out, Nicolette was missing as well. No trace of either of them at all. I got quite worried. 

Randell came up with a theory that we would all be going to the toilet one by one and disappear before coming back out as if nothing happened. That marked the start of our mini horror movie adventure. We decided to stick together and hook arms. [Let me also just say that it's not helpful to be a psychology student at a time like this.] With our arms hooked, we covered the 7th floor multiple times, trying to find the two of them. As there were two toilets on that floor, we checked the other one shouting Jonathan's name, with guys staring at us, no doubt judging us. After we searched the toilets, we discovered that there was a pathway at the very end connecting both toilets. As we embarked on that path, we got the creeps. It felt like we stepped into a horror movie scene. Normally, I would look at the vanishing point and think of what a good photograph it would make, but with this happening, all I could think of was how scary it was. Randell suggested that he wore his couple ring on the same side as me just to mess with people (and to alleviate the situation with some humor). But still, we started panicking, how did they disappear without a trace? 

We started forming more theories, like Batman kidnapping us one by one, or that they wanted to see us bond. We couldn't continue to stay on that floor, we wanted to cover more ground. Hence, we went down the escalators (yes, with our arms hooked) in an attempt to search for them. We got dirty looks from people everywhere, but we didn't care, bromance is a thing after all. I told Randell about how I saw Jonathan peeping at us and he freaked out, because he didn't see him at all. His goosebumps were apparent after hearing that. As we continued to get stares from everyone, we discussed our theories further. 

We started to doubt our existence, that perhaps Jonathan and Nicolette were a fragment of our consciousness / imagination. Only one of us was real, and the other was either our id, ego or superego. We were clearly going crazy. The psychology student syndrome got us when we tried to diagnose ourselves with schizophrenia. Was I hallucinating when I saw Jonathan peeping at us? Were we being delusional, believing our own theories like this? It haunted us at the back of our heads. 

Maybe this whole thing was a hidden camera prank just to see the two of us bond. We wanted to believe that. There were no signs of them at all even after we covered the entire mall. To play it safe, we took the escalators all the way back up to the 7th floor again, hoping that they would be there when we arrived. We even shouted for them in Sherylyn's voice as we made our way up. But alas, they were nowhere to be found. 

We found a staircase near the toilet, and suspected that if Jonathan had to talk to Nicolette (concerning our relationship stuffs, etc), then there would be the place. Jonathan loves staircases a lot after all. It was a very creepy staircase, and we made sure to thread slowly and not make a sound. Though we had a good heart to heart talk while we were walking down the steps. This place seemed to be the most plausible option out of all. And to our disappointment, we didn't find them there after walking all the way down to the first floor. We were losing hope. Our theories seemed so true at that point in time.

Randell needed to use the toilet so we went back in the shopping center to pee. After we peed, I decided to give Nicolette a text since she didn't pick up my phone calls before and Randell got a call from Jonathan. Turns out they were always on the 7th floor, where they talked for about 30 minutes. I was relieved and angry at the same time. Relieved that Nicolette was alright and that we weren't crazy, but angry because Jonathan didn't say a thing at all. 

Although, one thing never made sense to Randell and I. How was it possible that they were at the 7th floor when we searched everywhere on that floor multiple times? We were definitely missing out a piece of crucial information / memory...

.

Haha okay, maybe there was a bit of exaggeration here and there, but it's a true story. Randell did kind of know that they had to talk and I suspected that as well, but it still freaked us out when they disappeared into thin air. Good things came out of this I guess, Randell and I got a little closer (#bromance) while Nicolette got the good talk that she needed. But guys, no more disappearing acts man. My heart cannot take this.

From left to right: Me, Nicolette, Jonathan and Randell

The More You Learn, The More You Improve

Kit lenses are one of the most under-appreciated lenses in my opinion. The 18 - 55 mm f/3.5 - 5.6 lens is the kit lens that almost everyone has, but it's also the lens that a lot of people think is not good enough. Most photography hobbyists/enthusiasts will try to upgrade to a prime lens (fixed focal length) or a better zoom lens soon after they get their first camera. That's probably because they want a faster aperture like f/1.8 or a better zoom range, or just a lens that is specific to the type of photos that they want to take, be it portraiture, street photography or landscapes. Of course, some also feel that by getting a prime lens, their photography skills will improve (because, better bokeh!). I'm guilty of having that thought too, since I want to get a 50mm f/1.8G and I used to think that more bokeh equals better photos. 

But a lot of people jump straight in, buying a prime lens without really knowing the kind of photos they want to take, and their lenses are left on the shelf, hardly used. I think this is where the kit lens is really useful. From 18 mm to 55 mm, it covers from wide angle to slightly telephoto. You are able to try out the various focal lengths and understand what their purpose is for. Reading and watching reviews on focal lengths can help you understand them a bit, but taking actual photos and experimenting with the focal lengths are much more helpful. You get to know which focal length really suits your taste and shooting style. Not only that, you can try out various kinds of photography with a kit lens to see which one you like best. 18 - 24 mm for landscapes / cityscapes, 35 mm for more versatile shooting and 45 - 55 mm for portraiture.

I remember when I first got my camera a few months back, I only shot at 50 mm because I wanted to get used to the 50 mm frame lines (like I mentioned above, I wanted to get a 50 mm lens). I hardly ever used the other focal lengths unless the space was too tight. But recently, I decided to give 35 mm a try for street photography. It was a little too far for me at first, but I soon got used to it and my photos improved vastly. I learned how to incorporate more of the environment into my photos (since more things are in focus as compared to 50 mm), which adds more story to them. It was something I was trying to learn from Benjamain Heath's portraits. 

After having tried the 35 mm focal length for about a month, I became more open to the other focal lengths. I played around with the wide angle focal lengths, which was something I never imagined myself doing, because I'm not much of a landscape person. But I learned to use it with leading lines that can be found all around us on the streets, this created portraits that I'd never done before. Using wider focal lengths definitely made my photos better as I learned to use smaller apertures like f/7.1 to f/16. Whereas in the past while I was only using 50 mm, I always used the largest aperture (f/5.6) to get shallower depth of field (bokeh!). 

I guess the point is, before you look down on your own kit lens, how about trying to learn with it? Understand every focal length by taking photos and make full use of your kit lens. Instead of constantly buying new lenses, how about working with just one lens and honing your skills to create better photos. And the more you learn, the more you improve.

Playing with wide angle!